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Worldwide: Funny Equine Medical Terms
Posted on Monday, December 12 @ 11:23:33 MST by iljiana

Horse Humor What it really means!!!

AZORTURIA (Monday Morning Disease)-A condition brought on by showing horses all weekend. Symptoms include the feeling of dread at having to get out of bed on Mondays and go to work/school.
BOG SPAVIN-The feeling of panic when riding through marshy area. Also used to refer to horses who throw a fit at having to go through water puddles.
COLIC-The gastrointestinal result of eating at the food stands at horse shows.
COLIC-The gastrointestinal result of participating in horse shows.
CONTRACTED FOOT-The involuntary instant reflex of curling one's toes up-right before a horse steps on your foot.
DRENCH-Term used to describe the condition an owner is in after he administers mineral oil to his horse.
FOUNDER-The discovery of your loose mare-some miles from your farm, usually in a flower bed or cornfield. Used like-"Hey, honey, I found'er." Founder: A condition that happens to most people after Thanksgiving dinner.
FROG-Small amphibious animal that emits a high-pitched squeal when stepped on.
GIRTH SORES-Painful swelling and abrasion made at the point of mid-section by fashionable large western belt buckles.
HEAVES-The act of unloading a truckful of hay.
HOCK-The financial condition that a horse owner goes into.
LAMENESS-The condition of most riders after the first few rides each year; can be a chronic condition in weekend riders.
OVER-REACHING-A descriptive term used to explain the condition your credit cards are in by the end of show season.
PARASITES-Small children (no flames please) that get in your way when you work in the barn. Many gather in swarms at horse shows.
PROUD FLESH-The external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion when a horse of any gender is present. Often displayed in halter classes.
QUARTER CRACKS-The comments that most Arabian owners make about the people who own Quarter Horses.
QUITTOR-A term trainers have commonly used to refer to their clients who come to their senses and pull horses out of their barns.
RASP-An abrasive, long, flat metal tool used to remove excess skin from the knuckles.
RINGWORMS-Spectators who block your view and gather around the rail sides at horse shows.
SADDLE SORE-The way the rider's bottom feels the morning after the weekend at the horse show.
SLEEPING SICKNESS-A disease peculiar to mare owners while waiting for their mares to foal. Caused by nights of lost sleep, symptoms include irritability, red baggy eyes and a zombie-like waking state. Can last several weeks.
SPLINT-An apparatus that can be applied to various body parts of a rider due to the parting of the ways of a horse and his passenger.
TWISTED GUT-The feeling deep inside that most riders get before their classes at a show.
VET CATALOG-An illustrated brochure provided to stable owners that features a wide array of products that are currently out of stock or have been dropped from a company's inventory.
WEAVING-The movement a horse trailer makes while going down the road with a rambunctious horse in it.
WINDPUFFS-Stallion owners. Also applied to used car salesmen.

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