I AM a horse-aholic. I would like to welcome all of you to this month's
online meeting of Horse-Aholics Anonymous. You may be sitting there
thinking that you are OK, and don't really need any help.
It is not easy torealize that you are a horse-aholic, and even harder to bring yourself to an HA
meeting for help. HA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask to try to determine if you can be helped.
1. Can you say 'sheath' in public without blushing?
2. Do you know exactly what 'snaffle' means? (No, it is not a drink!)
3. Do you drive a truck with some type of towing package and/or dual rear wheel when everyone else you know drives a real car?
4. Do you have more than one type of trailer because you own horses?
5. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, sales, clinics, and seminars when everyone else goes on cruises?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make a doctor leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear clean jeans and freshly scraped boots?
8. Does the inside of your home look like your interior decorator is State Line Tack'?
9. Do you often have barn boots on your front porch?
10. Is your mail made up primarily of breed magazines and horse catalogs?
11. Do your shirt pockets often contain bits of feed, hay, and empty syringe covers?
12. Do you worry about paying your monthly feed bill before you think of paying your electric bill?
13. When you meet a person, do you ask how many horses they have, and pity them if the answer is none?
14. Do you remember the name of a great-great-great grandsire when you can't remember your own great grandfather's name?
15. Is your primary dream in life to breed the perfect foal?
16. Do you find non-horse people boring?
17. Is 99% of your e-mail about horses?
18. Do you have a collection of bits even larger than your collection of horses?
19. Does you halter collection include more than four halters, all the same size?
20. Do you know more than five people this list fits exactly?
If you answered YES to three of these questions, you are in pretty good
shape. You will lead a long, dull life, and never call your mother and tell her
"I'm in the hospital, but everything is fine! The horse is OK."
If you answered YES to 10, you are in serious trouble. Give in
gracefully, and become a member of Horse-Aholics Anonymous now... You will
qualify eventually anyway.
If you answered YES to 15 or more, you are incurable. My advice to those
who, like me, are incurable is as follows.....
Sit back, smile, read your email, and know that your life will always be
filled with good friends and better horses, and it will NEVER be boring
JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that horse humor can be risky. It is
our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this
subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we
apologize. Many were posted on HorseScapes, some were passed along via
email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the
original authors are unknown -- but we thank them.